Thoughts and Prayers to the Guy Who Had Part of His Penis Eaten by His Neighbor's Dog Through a Fence

Source – A Jamaican man has been hospitalised after having a part of his penis bitten off by his neighbour’s dog.

The man, named locally as Neily, had been chatting to his neighbour over her gate in Stony Hill, north of Kingston, Jamaica, when her dog attacked.

He told a Jamaican newspaper that the dog had pushed its nose through the metal bars of the gate and snapped its jaws around his genitals. …

‘The dog pushed its mouth through the metal because I was standing close to it, and it bit me on my penis,’ he told The Weekend Star. ‘I will not be going near those dogs again.’

This guy Neily is quite simply the concept of Grace Under Fire, personified. There aren’t many men who could take having a part of their dong bitten off my the neighbor’s dog with such calm stoicism. That’s the very definition of taking a tragedy in stride. Casually talking about it with the press. Not blasting his neighbor for having such a vicious animal around. No self pity over seeing his best friend injured like that. Just the resolve to avoid coming within a penis length of the dogs and moving on with his life.

I think there are some lessons here for all of us. First of all, to be better neighbors. I get along just fine with the people next door to Stately Thornton Manor. They’re nice people. But sometimes I sense they get a little persnickety if I get some lawn clippings on their driveway. And lord knows I lose patience when they leave their poodle alone and it spends all day yapping in the backyard. But that is small potatoes compared to having our pets eat parts of our genitalia. So believe me, I’m going to use Neily’s neighborhood diplomacy as inspiration to be a better, more tolerant person.

The other takeaway here is to appreciate your penis while you can. God promises no wang a tomorrow. All of our junk is listed as Day to Day. We are all one dog bite away from being Reek Greyjoy. So you’ve got to make the most of your penis during the time you do have together. Love one another. Spend quality time together every day. Share your feelings. Become more attached. Because every day spent with a whole, healthy, non-disfigured, uneaten penis is a gift. That’s why they call today “the present.”

So thank you, Neily. We are sorry for your loss but will use your example to inspire us all.